


The Man Who Might've Been God

by CraterNile



Category: Original Work
Genre: Author Is Not Religious, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Study, Current Events, Existentialism, In Character, Interviews, Late Night Conversations, Maybe - Freeform, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Riots, Short One Shot, Talk Shows, Theology, theres a moral here somewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CraterNile/pseuds/CraterNile
Summary: Welcome to the Nightly Show with Adam Tracy! Tonight, a man who claims that he is God!
Kudos: 1





	The Man Who Might've Been God

“Hello everyone, thanks for tuning in tonight. My name of course is Adam Tracy, and we have an amazing show for you tonight. We got Annie Lennox in the house tonight, and as a special treat, your favorite intern Sammy is going to be doing a little something special for all of you. But first, we have a very special guest. I’m sure you’ve heard of him before, but not in this context: God!”

The studio audience half clapped, half grumbled at the announcement. Maybe they didn’t believe it. Maybe they thought Adam was pulling their collective legs, as he is known to do. The rascal.

However, this was not a prank, nor was it a joke. It was God.

The man who claimed himself God walked out from behind the curtains over to the desk where Adam was standing. They shook hands and sat down as the intro music for the guest died down. 

“It’s an honor to have you on the show…” Adam started, then hesitated. “What should I refer to you as during this? God? Lord? Your holiness?” There was a ripple of polite laughter through the crowd, but most were still shocked.

The man who claimed himself God smiled at that, and replied kindly “Just God is fine, really. Don’t try to bend over backwards for me. It’s only Wednesday.” Not many people laughed at that. In fact, there were a few jeers. People didn’t like seeing God.

“So then, God, you truly are coming here today, and claiming yourself as God, totally serious, no jokes at all?” The interview began. That was not a question on Adam’s cards.

God only laughed at the slightly accusatory tone and replied, “I do not claim that I am God. I am God, end of story. However, I am used to apprehension such as yours. It's not every day that you can meet your heroes.” It seemed that the people weren’t on God’s side that night.

“I got a question for you God,” Adam didn’t have to put the emphasis where it was. He did anyway. “When you take a look at the state of the world, the one you created, do you feel proud of what has been accomplished?”  
God only smiled at the aggressive nature of the question. “Well that can be answered many ways. I am proud of certain aspects of the world, and I am not pleased with others. But, like all things, there is a balance that must be reached. I think that the balance I set up in the beginning has played out quite nicely.” The crowd only listened, with reverence or annoyance we will never know.

The God fearing public would throw a riot the day after the interview was aired. Apparently they didn’t fear him enough.

“You mean to tell me,” A slight quiver of anger ran through Adam’s voice, “that the balance of the world is where you want it to be? I mean no offence God, but there is so much death and hatred going on in the world that you can’t seriously look at it and approve! Can you?” The crowd agreed. Adam was getting red in the face.

“To be fair, I don’t believe that I have to be a just and fair God to run a universe. I always thought that it was quite funny how I was written like that.” The crowd did not find it as funny. “The other day I saw a headline saying that I had no sympathy for a little grape farm in California. Why should I care how a few little farmers are doing. I have other things to do you know.” The condescension in God’s voice was not welcomed by the crowd, who started audibly booing.

Before God had the chance to speak, Adam piped up and said, “That’s another thing I wanted to ask about. There have been fires in the US that have been rapidly increasing in ferocity for the past decade. Why are you doing this, and if it's not you, then who?” Some would call that the end all, silencer question. Why would God be killing all the innocent people on Earth? If he wasn’t, why was he letting them die? But the sad truth remains, that no question can end anything, and God had been around longer than language. 

“Well, like I said before, I wouldn’t expect myself to be a just God, but I am not the one who started the fires. I am not the one who commanded the Natives off of their land. I am not the one who told your species to turn the heat up on your planet.” God shook his head pityingly. “It seems to me like whenever there is a problem, people always look up to the sky, up to a being that has much better things to do than watch a planet slowly die.”

The theatre was silent. No one could believe their ears. No one wanted to.  
Adam quickly adjusted his tone and said simply “Alright, looks like it's time for break. When we come back, more God.”

The camera panned out as quiet music paired with deafening silence was all that could be heard.

“And we’re back with God. Now God, to change the subject a little, how do you feel about the people who condemn others to try and get on your good side? Does it contradict the commandments when people kill in your name, or spout hate speech because of the bible?”

God took no time in answering the question. “No, I actually like it. Those who follow the bible in all its contradictions get into heaven. They know the rules. They play by them. Those you call ‘racist’ are really just extending my will. The Commandments mean nothing in the face of abomination.”

“Interesting. So you’re saying that the hateful people of the world make it into heaven?”

“Indubitably”

“Do you really need big words to try and prove to all of us that you are God?” Adam asked, trying to shift the tension in the theatre. The crowd was thinning out by now, and those who stayed were not paying attention, so much as yelling at the all powerful being before them.

“It doesn’t hurt,” God replied with a smile. At least he was having fun. That’s all that mattered. If you're into that sorta thing. “May I address the camera directly, Adam?” God asked.

“Yeah, look into that one over there,” Adam pointed to a camera out of view from the other cameras, “And try not to incite any more riots than you already have.”

God chuckled at the sentiment, as he looked into the camera and began speaking. “I know that a lot of you aren’t very happy by what your lord has said today. If that is the case, I regret to inform you that you have not been worshipping me in the way I intended. You modern people have all gone soft, and I mean that sincerely. Back in the day, I could tell a man to slaughter his family so that he might please me, and he did just that. Some in modern times have heeded my call, but not nearly as many as there are people who believe in me. So now, you must ask yourselves the ultimate question. Here I am standing before you. I have spoken my will. Do you believe in me? Will you heed the call? Only you can answer that.”

Adam looked wide eyed into the camera, trembling. “Ok, that’s it from God, and that might also be it from us tonight. How very informative. Thank you for coming on the show.” Adam did not look at God, for being in his presence was too awe inspiring.

The music started playing as they shook hands, and the show cut to a commercial.

It’s a sign of the times, really, that God did not make it to the end of the week.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this last October. Call me psychic.


End file.
